ultimate-150It’s funny how the most popular videogame genres are trying so hard to appeal to kids nowadays. A while ago I reviewed NERF N-Strike, which can basically be described as ‘a first person shooter for kids’. Now I’m reviewing Ultimate Band, which can basically be described as ‘a band-themed music game for kids’. Then again, N-Strike was a surprisingly decent game, containing gameplay that could appeal to adults as well as kids. Will Ultimate Band do the same?

The first thing I noticed about Ultimate Band is that it contained some weird, triangular ratings label with the letter ‘U’ on it. What does this strange rating mean? Ultimate? Unbelievably good? Umbrion? A look at the back of the box claims that the rating means “Universal: Suitable For All”, with a description that says “Contains no material likely to offend or harm”. Oh dear. In my opinion, a game about rock and roll that contains no offensive material is really missing the point. However, this is clearly a game aimed at kids, so I guess I’ll just have to put my personal feelings aside and judge the game on its own merits.

On the other hand, it’s hard not to get personally involved when the game tries everything it possibly can to come off as ultra-lame. When you start the game, the first thing you have to do is create your band, which includes choosing a name and logo. Check out one of the available logos:

emokid

And they claim this game contains no material likely to harm or offend? Bah, I feel offended already, and all I’ve done so far is enter my name (which is not Thrillhouse by the way). As if that wasn’t bad enough, the band you’re given looks like the most stereotypical group of emos you could ever hope for, and forget about editing them to create the band you want- all of the editable categories (hair, shoes etc) give you about four options each, which are already being used by other band members. This means you’re not really creating the band, you’re essentially swapping around what you already have until you settle on a preferred combination. There’s probably more stuff to unlock, but honestly, why should you be forced to play through the game as a band you don’t like just to unlock the ability to create a band you do like?

Anyway, enough of me complaining about the game’s stylistic choices, because in the end, gameplay is what matters most. The concept of Ultimate Band is an interesting one, for it attempts to fuse Wii Music with Rock Band/Guitar Hero. What this means is that, like Wii Music, you use the Wiimote and Nunchuck to simulate the playing of instruments, but unlike Wii Music you have to play along to a licensed soundtrack and play the notes as they appear on screen. It’s a good idea in theory, but the problem is that playing the game doesn’t feel anything like playing the instruments it’s supposed to be representing. The only one that comes close is drums, but while waving the controllers around does recreate the feeling of playing drums fairly well (though the Nunchuck feels a little inaccurate at times), I couldn’t help feeling like my Guitar Hero drum kit was pointing and laughing at this poor man’s representation of the instrument. Strumming a guitar feels nothing like strumming a guitar, and playing bass is ridiculous due to a strange decision regarding the controls. With bass, you have to tilt the Nunchuck left or right to move up or down on the note chart, and while this is surprisingly accurate, it feels absolutely nothing like playing a real bass (unless you have a bass guitar with a neck made out of NERF foam). The need to ‘clap’ is awful as well, not just because there’s a lag between the action and response, but because it feels like you’re squeezing your guitar like an accordion every time you do it. In the end, the act of playing the instruments feels more like matching a series of motion-based Quick Time Events (QTEs) as opposed to actually playing instruments.

Playing as a frontman is the absolute worst though, because instead of focusing on the single most important thing that a frontman does, which is sing, the game asks you to punch the air, swing your arms around, and do all sorts of other things that feel totally stupid and never comes close to resembling anything. In fact, the constant punching of the screen makes it feel like a Tai-Bo trainer or something, and one particular move which asks you to lift the Wiimote up and backwards, to simulate leaning back while screaming into the mic, bears a much closer resemblance to chugging a bottle of Scotch on stage. Hmm, maybe this game is more rock and roll then I gave it credit for.

This game teaches many useful hand movements, such as 'handing the game over the counter in exchange for store credit'.

Now that we’ve looked at the controls, it’s time to look at the licensed soundtrack, and it doesn’t look good folks. The list of songs (aside from a few standouts) is absolutely shocking. It’s full of teen-pop and emo-pop songs, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, they’re not even the original masters. To be fair though, the guy who sings Complicated does a better job at it than Avril Lavigne (not that that’s hard or anything). The setlist is so bad that my brother and I ended up muting the TV, playing metal songs off an iPod, and imagining that we were playing a game with a good setlist. Surprisingly, some of the songs matched up to the note charts really well, and the attempts to find and play the best matches ended up being the most fun part of the game.

The difficulty of the game fluctuates between instruments. As a test, I jumped into a bunch of random songs, chose random instruments, and maxed out the difficulty to see how well I would do. It turns out that drums and guitar are far too easy, while bass and frontman are far too difficult. The reason why bass and frontman are so hard is because they feel totally unnatural and the controls are extremely convoluted, which means it’s hard enough to remember what the required actions are without also having to match them to the prompts. If you practice you could become good at it, but why would you bother getting good at being the Frontman when it’s basically the complete opposite of fun? Also, while the Tutorials include an Expert difficulty, the main game only goes up to Hard when you start off, so if you find Hard too easy you might be able to unlock a higher difficulty by playing the game for a while… instead of, you know, having it available from the start like in all the other band games.

Judging by the note chart, this is either a power ballad or an ultra fast solo.

The presentation of the game isn’t too bad. The graphics are solid and have a good, cartoony style, the sound quality is good, and the special animations are pretty funny and over-the-top, if a little repetitive. One thing I feel like criticising though is the cutscenes. I started Story mode to see what they were like, and the first cutscene was very well done… aside from the band. Their dialogue and voice acting is so bad that they come off as completely unlikeable. After watching the cutscene, the last thing in the world that I wanted to do was guide them to the pinnacle of rock superstardom. What I DID want to do was jump into the TV, strangle them with the same Nunchuck cable that had been whipping me in the face during every ‘Grandstanding’ mini-game (like Star Power, but you have to perform a bunch of motion-based QTEs), replace them with caricatures of Diamond Eye or Psychonaut or some other really awesome unsigned band, and guide THEM to the pinnacle of rock superstardom! And hey, maybe I could have done that if the band editing mode actually gave you the freedom to create your own band!

Overall, Ultimate Band represents a good idea being let down by poor decisions and half-arsed implementation. The concept is good in theory, but the controls are poorly thought out, the instruments are not particularly fun to play, the customisation options are severely lacking, and the setlist is less fun to play than the instruments. If you want a music game that simulates being in a rock band, there are many other, much better games available for the Wii. This game is for a younger audience, one who might actually enjoy the setlist and who would probably enjoy a game full of QTEs without worrying too much about how closely they resembled the real instruments. So feel free to buy this game for your kids, but don’t offer to join their band. If you do, you’ll end up leaving due to ‘creative differences’ anyway.

By Mr_M

Graphics: B-

The on-screen prompts are very clear and the cartoony graphics are good.

Sound: C-

The setlist sucks, but the sound quality is solid.

Gameplay: D-

The motion controls are surprisingly accurate, but they don’t make any sense and feel nothing like the instruments they’re representing. As a result, the game isn’t much fun.

Overall: D-

One for the kids. Serious rockers should look elsewhere.